Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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