office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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