I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
the gays at disneyland are vicious
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
