I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
