Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
