How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
