Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
