wat bout pragnant strippers??
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
