Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
