there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
