Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
