I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
