yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
