I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
