am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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