You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I will be naked everywhere
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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