I molested 6 butterflies tonight
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
