And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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