So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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