shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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