I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
