love makes seman taste better
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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