Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
