true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
