i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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