Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
