you're like a bully in the Christmas story
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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