I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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