this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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