pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
be right there i have to get my cape
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
