Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize