i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
