I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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