All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
