I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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