Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
