if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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