oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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