they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
