Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
