She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
