I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The Olympian is in my bed
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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