you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
