During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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