I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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