I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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