The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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