I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
where are my pants?
in the oven.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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