I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
