Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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