so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize