I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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