he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
