I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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