you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
