All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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