does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
