I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It's Friday. Sex?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
