I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
